


The five times Frank and Gerard tried to get together and the one time it lasted

by BeNotAfeard



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-03
Updated: 2012-01-03
Packaged: 2017-10-28 20:00:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/311642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeNotAfeard/pseuds/BeNotAfeard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Title kind of says it all, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The five times Frank and Gerard tried to get together and the one time it lasted

 

i.

 

The first time was a hook up about two months before Frank officially met Gerard.

Frank’s pretty sure Gerard doesn’t even remember this encounter, but he does, oh man he does. Back when Pencey were still going strong, and before the idea of My Chemical Romance had even been born. The dark hair, the pale skin, the shockingly bright eyes; a shade of hazel Frank has permanently etched behind his own lids.

The messy, drunken handjobs exchanged in the back bathroom of some grubby bar. The way Gerard’s mouth had felt against his; rough, dirty; nothing gentle or romantic about it. How much Frank had loved it.

Two months later, when Frank is actually introduced to “Gerard Way, from My Chemical Romance, Jersey’s new kick-ass punk band,” courtesy of Hambone, Gerard shakes his hand, clumsily and earnestly, with no sign that he’d been acquainted with Frank before, let alone Frank’s dick.

Frank remembers thinking that he’d like to get to know this guy.

He didn’t quite realise the truth that statement held.

 

ii.

 

The second time wasn’t so much a time as three years of Frank didn’t even know what. There wasn’t a name for it. They were just Frank and Gerard. Gerard and Frank.

The constant cuddling and snuggling, practically sleeping on top of each other during the van days. The shared smoke breaks under the stars. The nights of staying up, long after everyone else was asleep, talking, or sometimes just huddled up together, appreciating the quiet.

Then later came the drunken kisses, sloppy and uncoordinated. The teasing on stage, the licking and biting and sucking that left Frank _oh_ so hard, begging silently for more. The strutting, the straddling, the humping – all an act, of course, all for the stage. Except for how it really wasn’t, not for Frank.

And then, even later –

“I like you.”

Frank blurts this out, after some party, at that point of not quite drunk, but sure as hell not sober.

Gerard blinks, eyes strangely clear for someone who’d consumed the amount of alcohol he had, and Frank starts to backtrack, before Gerard cuts him off with a kiss. Not rough and dirty, or sloppy and wet, but gentle, sweet.

“I like you too.”

 

iii.

 

The third time was supposed to be it for Frank. Him and Gerard, officially together. End of.

As it was, they lasted seven months.

First it was the alcohol, increasing both in its frequency  and quantity. Then, the drugs.  And finally, Bert. The lying, the sneaking around, the _cheating_.

When Frank finally catches them, he stares into Gerard’s eyes, the hazel he remembered from all those years before unfocused and dimmed. There are two options: stay and confront Gerard, or walk away, risking losing him in the process.

Frank walks.

He’s already lost him.

 

iv.

 

The fourth time happened a few months after Gerard got sober, and shouldn’t really have happened at all.

It followed months of awkward silences and forced small talk. Of faked smiles and “we’re okay, right?” “sure we are”’s.  Frank was rooming with Gerard, and had just got out the bathroom, planning on having an early night, when Gerard kisses him.

It’s hard, and a little desperate, and Frank knows he shouldn’t, knows it’s a really bad idea, but can’t help complying when Gerard pulls him over to the bed and pushes him down on it.

“You asshole,” Frank gets out, once Gerard has pressed him into the sheets and is undoing his zipper.

“F-fuck you,” he moans, once Gerard’s mouth has enveloped his dick, tight and wet and _perfect._

“I fucking – hate you,” he pants, afterwards, curling up against Gerard and pressing his face into the crook of Gerard’s neck.

“I know,” Gerard replies, a little sadly, and kisses Frank’s forehead.

 

v.

 

Frank wakes up the next morning to an empty bed. He has a second of “oh no he did _not_ fuck me over twice – ” before realising Gerard was sitting at the end of the bed, head in hands.

“Gee?” Frank says uncertainly, crawling over and resting a hand cautiously on Gerard’s shoulder, “What’s wrong?”

Gerard raises his head and looks at Frank through bleary eyes, “I fuck everything up.” His voice is quiet and etched with despair.

Frank has a feeling there’s more to come, so he doesn’t say anything. He’s not wrong.

“I just – I fucked up, so bad, before, and then I tried – I mean, I’m supposed to make it better,” he breaks off, looking on the verge of tears, “I just… I love you, Frankie – I’m fucking in love with you, and I got scared, and I – I fucked up. And then last night, I was – I was meant to apologise, and instead I… I know you hate me,” he finishes quietly, staring at the floor.

Frank stares at Gerard. And stares. And stares. And he knows, deep inside, that he’d already forgiven Gerard, had a while ago.  And seeing him like this, so defeated and miserable, fucking breaks Frank’s heart. Because –

“I love you too, Gee,” he says softly, and kisses Gerard’s cheek, “I pretty much have since I first met you.”

Gerard is staring at him, a little dazed, but breaks into a smile at that.

“My drunken handjob skills convinced you I was worthy of your love?”

Frank feels his mouth open, “You – you remember that?”

Gerard grins, bright and brilliant, and kisses Frank, softly, gently, and Frank’s heart melts all over again.

“Always.”

 

The fifth time happened three years ago, and Frank knows, as he watches Gerard sleep, in their very own bed, in their very own house – he knows that this time, this is it. Frank and Gerard. Gerard and Frank. It’s just who they were.

 

Originally posted [here](http://misslucythenerd.livejournal.com/12427.html#cutid1) if anyone wants to comment or critique :)

 


End file.
